It’s Our Anniversary!!

Do you know what today is?

Do you know what today is?

It’s our anniversary {it’s our, it’s our special day}

 Anniversary by Toni Tony Tone’

 

Carlton has sung or played this song for me on every anniversary, all 11 of them. It’s a bit corny but it’s basically a tradition now at our house that I love. LOL

If you haven’t figured it out yet, it’s our ANNIVERSARY!! We’re 11 years strong today!! We’re no longer newlyweds, we’ve arrived at seasoned couples status!!  It certainly wasn’t a walk in the park – we’ve struggled and stumbled, but never allowed life’s circumstances to break us.  We’re committed to this marriage journey.  Not just committed to the good times but also committed in the times when we feel like “I just don’t like you very much” (yes there are brief moments of those times too) however we still LOVE each other!

BUT it’s not just our wedding anniversary, we’re also celebrating Unspoken Vows; which we launched one year ago today!

That’s right we’re celebrating one year of connecting with couples, inspiring marriages, & being inspired by you all!  I couldn’t have reached this anniversary without God pushing me to step out on faith, the love and support of my husband, and of course testimonies from my Unspoken Vows family of how your marriages are being changed as we’ve shared our marriage journey!

Anniversaries always have a way of making me reflect…thinking back on the past year, giving me an opportunity to see where I’ve been and where I want to go. Thinking back over these last 11 years of marriage and my first year as a ‘professional’ blogger have definitely given me a lot to reflect on.  I’ve learned to roll with the highs and the lows, to appreciate the partnership that makes us tick, and most importantly to always remember to focus on finding the joy in what I do.

Appreciate Every Day

A year ago at this exact moment, Carlton and I were sitting on a beach in sunny Cancun, Mexico celebrating our 10 year anniversary.  It was the 10th, so we had to do it big right?  We’re talking all-inclusive resort lifestyle, non-stop pool parties, and all around relaxation.  Now fast forward a year to the 11th anniversary and it’s quite a different story.  After a ridiculously busy summer, we realized all 3 of our regular sitters were unavailable to watch the kids.  After settling on the fact that we’d be having a family anniversary celebration this year, my wonderful mom was able to move some things around to keep the kids for us (thanks Mom!!!).  Even with that figured out, we were left with no real plans so we had to wing it a bit.  We still are having a great time – but it’s not quite Cancun!  This taught me a few things, specifically that every day or even anniversary is not going to be a highlight for the ages.  We have to learn to appreciate the big milestone moments as well as the not so flashy ones that make up important parts of our journey.  This also applies to blog posts.  Some of them get tons of clicks and comments and others well….not so much.  But even with those, I keep in mind that there may be one person who gets exactly what they need from that quiet post that speaks just the right word to them in that season of their life.  

The Value of Partnership

Now we all know marriage is a partnership, but how do you make it work when you’re like me, a person that likes to do things in isolation, doesn’t ask for help, and thinks if it doesn’t get done my way it won’t get done right?  This past year has taught me that the success of marriage is hinged on partnership, I’ve learned to appreciate Carlton’s strengths, and revel in the fact that we’re so much better when we’re working together.  Unspoken Vows was all #TeamLigon!  It wasn’t just me doing it by myself, Carlton edited the posts (even wrote a few), maintained the website, and gave me the space to bounce ideas off of him.  We’re stronger when we’re doing things together and that just doesn’t go for Unspoken Vows it also applies to our daily life. 

Even with such a strong partnership, it is also important to know when to reach out for help.  When faced with a major crisis or small things that have grown to become issues in your marriage sometimes it’s necessary to reach out to a counselor, marriage coach, or a trusted friend for help.  As we’ve shared before Carlton and I visit our marriage counselor at least quarterly to give us direction and insight on how to keep our marriage running smoothly. It’s kind of like the website crash we had on Unspoken Vows a few months ago.  Carlton and I tried our best to fix it for an hour or so, but ultimately had to get in touch with the hosting Support Center to get us back up and running.

Finding Joy in My Purpose

Another thing that stands out to me as I reflect is to remember why we started out on this journey.  As things get busy in our hectic lives I don’t want to lose sight of the joy and purpose for our marriage.  When we stood in front of each other 11 years ago and said I do, things were simple.  We were young, carefree, and happy.  Not to say those 3 things don’t apply to us today buuuut life has a way of throwing a lot of other complications in the mix that can distract you from a simple purpose – to joyfully love your mate.

Thinking back to some of my blog posts admittedly I’ve been known to suffer from a bit of writers block from time to time.  In those moments, sometimes I can get so focused on getting something done and posted to the site, that I got frustrated and temporarily lost my joy.  There are probably even some posts that could have benefited from another round of editing before posting.  Going forward instead of just going through the motions to get ‘something’ posted, I want to make sure I step back and reassess my purpose in starting Unspoken Vows.  If my purpose is to share my very best and transparent insights, why would I force it or settle for anything less?  It goes back to the old saying of aiming for quality over quantity.  The same sentiment is true for our marriages.  Let’s make sure that we are not just going through the motions to ‘get it done’ but that we are intentionally giving our very best to our spouse and family on a daily basis.  Because in the end, what will matter most is the quality of the years in our marriage, not just the quantity of the years we are married. 

Reflection is the key to the growth of our marriages.  So I will leave you with this and challenge you to reflect and ask yourself these 3 questions the next time your anniversary comes around:

  1. What was great about my marriage this year?
  2. What did I learn from this year?
  3. What can I do to help myself and my marriage grow?

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One thought on “It’s Our Anniversary!!

  1. Hey Unspoken Vow, congratulations on your 1 year anniversary! I can always count on your posts to speak right to the heart of relationships: God, love, transparency, commitment, sacrifice, partnership, fun, and so much more. They mKe us laugh and they make us cry. They make us dig deep to bring out the best!
    I also want to congratulate you and a Carlton on 11 years of marriage! Wow, where has the time gone. It seems like just yesterday you two began with white lace and promises with a kiss and the blessings of God and your guests to seal it all! Just like that, you two were on your way. I’m so proud of you both and Unspoken Vows!
    I pray that you and Carlton will have an eternity if blissful days Nd nights in Jesus’s Name. Keep the faith and may you both have peace and prosperity all the days of your life.
    Love mom

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